Boys,
There was a world before September 11 2001, and there is a world after, but the two are completely different. Both of you will grow up in the years after. Your Mom and I barely knew each other on that day, but we like all the others who witnessed it, have our own stories.
Where we were and what we were doing. Our thoughts and feelings and utter disbelief at what was unfolding around us. The entire country stood frozen with fear for the next several days and I often wonder if that's how my grandparents and parents generation felt when Pearl Harbor was attacked.
I still have a very difficult time watching the video's of the two planes crashing into the two World Trade center buildings. Even fourteen years later the emotion is just as raw and painful as it was the day it happened.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
The Power of Music
May 1, 2016
I've been listening to music in my headphones for the last hour or so. Sam, you're watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Ethan you're watching Pokeman. Music for me can be so powerful, and I suspect that it's the same for other people. It can lift me up when I am feeling down and keep me low sometimes as well. It can send me back in an instant to another time and another place. I just have listened to "Rexroth's Daughter" by Greg Brown, "Pompeii", by Bastille, "The Wrestler" by Bruce Springsteen and "Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" by Paul Simon. I can only hope that your musical tastes end up being as diverse as mine. Everything from Classical to hard rock is in my library. Except hip hop. I can't stand that shit. I'll do what I can to expose you both to the power of music.
I've been listening to music in my headphones for the last hour or so. Sam, you're watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Ethan you're watching Pokeman. Music for me can be so powerful, and I suspect that it's the same for other people. It can lift me up when I am feeling down and keep me low sometimes as well. It can send me back in an instant to another time and another place. I just have listened to "Rexroth's Daughter" by Greg Brown, "Pompeii", by Bastille, "The Wrestler" by Bruce Springsteen and "Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" by Paul Simon. I can only hope that your musical tastes end up being as diverse as mine. Everything from Classical to hard rock is in my library. Except hip hop. I can't stand that shit. I'll do what I can to expose you both to the power of music.
Friday, August 28, 2015
Just Plain Lazy
Boys,
Ok I'll admit it I'm just plain lazy. There are hundreds of letters I could have written over the last year and a bit but I just haven't. I'd tell myself that maybe I just wanted to keep those memories mine and not share them but that's crap. I can't type and it sometimes takes a while to do this, but more often than not I'd find something else to do. I also tend to get very emotional and it can often trigger my depression and take days to recover, but as my friend Rod says, "F it I'm doing it". So much has gone on that I'll just have to hit some highlights:
Sam,
Your growing up into such a sweet loving and entertaining little boy. There isn't a night that goes by that I don't tell your mom about something cute or funny you did. You are developing a great personality and I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see who you become. This morning when I came in and woke you up you cried until I picked you up. Then you gave me about 10 small kisses while I sat with you in the chair and watched the news.
E,
You started kindergarten on Monday and your Mom and I were very worried about the transition. The worry was more for us and how we'd handle it than how you would do but we were scared for you too. You have handled it like a champ! One of my proudest and happiest moments was when I walked you to school on Wednesday and you crossed the street and took off running towards the school. I love that you are loving school and learning. It will get tough at times but I hope you never lose the desire to learn.
Driving in to work this morning I heard "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" by Cold Play and was instantly transported to one of the happiest times of my life. We were in the first house and the song would come on and we'd all stop what we were doing and get together and dance. I'd dance with you, and then Mom would dance with you, and Mom and I would dance and then we'd all dance together. The whole house was filled with so much love and laughter.
Love,
Dad
Ok I'll admit it I'm just plain lazy. There are hundreds of letters I could have written over the last year and a bit but I just haven't. I'd tell myself that maybe I just wanted to keep those memories mine and not share them but that's crap. I can't type and it sometimes takes a while to do this, but more often than not I'd find something else to do. I also tend to get very emotional and it can often trigger my depression and take days to recover, but as my friend Rod says, "F it I'm doing it". So much has gone on that I'll just have to hit some highlights:
Sam,
Your growing up into such a sweet loving and entertaining little boy. There isn't a night that goes by that I don't tell your mom about something cute or funny you did. You are developing a great personality and I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see who you become. This morning when I came in and woke you up you cried until I picked you up. Then you gave me about 10 small kisses while I sat with you in the chair and watched the news.
E,
You started kindergarten on Monday and your Mom and I were very worried about the transition. The worry was more for us and how we'd handle it than how you would do but we were scared for you too. You have handled it like a champ! One of my proudest and happiest moments was when I walked you to school on Wednesday and you crossed the street and took off running towards the school. I love that you are loving school and learning. It will get tough at times but I hope you never lose the desire to learn.
Driving in to work this morning I heard "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" by Cold Play and was instantly transported to one of the happiest times of my life. We were in the first house and the song would come on and we'd all stop what we were doing and get together and dance. I'd dance with you, and then Mom would dance with you, and Mom and I would dance and then we'd all dance together. The whole house was filled with so much love and laughter.
Love,
Dad
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Life Epiphanies
Boys,
I recently read this article about 9-epiphanies one can have of their lives. It was pretty powerful stuff.
One of them, that life unfolds only in moments, is an image that is so clear in my mind it is as if it happened yesterday.
My realization came when I was working at an environmental education center in Navasota, Texas. It was a very rough time for me and I was having all sorts of difficulties. I was sitting on a bench, brooding about the upcoming day, and full of worry about something that I no longer remember. It was a warm humid day, as most days in East Texas are, and was close to fall. Some of the leaves were changing color and were beginning to fall, yellow was the predominant color but out of the corner of my eye I caught a small flash of red. I immediately shifted my focus to the red leaf and watched as it drifted toward the ground. It was backed first by blue sky, then green foliage, and finally the soft brown of the pine needles that carpeted the ground. As it lay there in stark contrast to it's surroundings I was struck that I was the only person on earth to witness that leaf's descent from the tree. There would never be another like it anywhere. No other leaf would fall the same way, have the same brilliant red, be dappled by the sun in the same place and none would ever touch the ground and settle in the same position as this. It seemed magical, I was there to witness the incredible event of a single leaf fluttering to the ground. It was then, as I stared at the red leaf, that I realized that life happens only in moments, sometimes so brief that you scarcely recognize them. It is recognizing these moments and holding on to them that gives meaning to my life. The day both of you were born are moments where my life unfolded and they are days I will never forget. This is what it means to live "in the moment", be present, recognize what is going on around you and never take it for granted.
Dad
I recently read this article about 9-epiphanies one can have of their lives. It was pretty powerful stuff.
One of them, that life unfolds only in moments, is an image that is so clear in my mind it is as if it happened yesterday.
My realization came when I was working at an environmental education center in Navasota, Texas. It was a very rough time for me and I was having all sorts of difficulties. I was sitting on a bench, brooding about the upcoming day, and full of worry about something that I no longer remember. It was a warm humid day, as most days in East Texas are, and was close to fall. Some of the leaves were changing color and were beginning to fall, yellow was the predominant color but out of the corner of my eye I caught a small flash of red. I immediately shifted my focus to the red leaf and watched as it drifted toward the ground. It was backed first by blue sky, then green foliage, and finally the soft brown of the pine needles that carpeted the ground. As it lay there in stark contrast to it's surroundings I was struck that I was the only person on earth to witness that leaf's descent from the tree. There would never be another like it anywhere. No other leaf would fall the same way, have the same brilliant red, be dappled by the sun in the same place and none would ever touch the ground and settle in the same position as this. It seemed magical, I was there to witness the incredible event of a single leaf fluttering to the ground. It was then, as I stared at the red leaf, that I realized that life happens only in moments, sometimes so brief that you scarcely recognize them. It is recognizing these moments and holding on to them that gives meaning to my life. The day both of you were born are moments where my life unfolded and they are days I will never forget. This is what it means to live "in the moment", be present, recognize what is going on around you and never take it for granted.
Dad
Thursday, January 9, 2014
New Beginings
Boys,
I have the greatest hopes for you. I want you both to be more successful than me and to have the lives that you want. I'll be there to lead you to make the best decisions you can, and to give you advice and help you when your in a rut. Nothing in life is going to be easy and I'm sure there will be plenty of obstacles and suffering. But remember suffering is pain that hasn't found it's meaning.
Sam,
All of the previous letters were written for Ethan, but they will apply to you too. We are so happy and excited to have you in our lives! When I started this blog I had no idea that you were coming. I'll try and write special letters just for you and some just for Ethan, but mainly they will be for the both of you.
Ethan,
So your little brother was born back in October and you have done a fantastic job of being a big brother so far. You were very excited for him to arrive but Mom and I didn't know if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl. You had your heart set on a little sister, but you seem very happy that it turned out to be a little brother.
I have the greatest hopes for you. I want you both to be more successful than me and to have the lives that you want. I'll be there to lead you to make the best decisions you can, and to give you advice and help you when your in a rut. Nothing in life is going to be easy and I'm sure there will be plenty of obstacles and suffering. But remember suffering is pain that hasn't found it's meaning.
Sam,
All of the previous letters were written for Ethan, but they will apply to you too. We are so happy and excited to have you in our lives! When I started this blog I had no idea that you were coming. I'll try and write special letters just for you and some just for Ethan, but mainly they will be for the both of you.
Ethan,
So your little brother was born back in October and you have done a fantastic job of being a big brother so far. You were very excited for him to arrive but Mom and I didn't know if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl. You had your heart set on a little sister, but you seem very happy that it turned out to be a little brother.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Wow
Ethan,
I can't believe it has been so long since I wrote anything to you! So much has gone on in the last year and a half it has been amazing! You are such a big boy now, you've turned 3, potty trained and counting and coloring and growing so fast it is all just a blur.
Some of my favorite things from the past year and a half...the night you told Mom that you didn't want to wear a pull up any more...watching football with me (and no matter who was playing, they were the Aggies)...learning to say Gig'em Aggies and Go Aggies...our time together while Mom was traveling...helping me make dinner and breakfast and sometimes lunch...going fishing for the first time with Fletch and Uncle Will...catching your first fish with Granpop's fly rod...the Memorial Day parade with Uncle Jonathan and Aunt Camilla...the way you say "Daddy" when your happy, sad, or scared...listening to you play with your cars...singing along to the Jake and the Neverland Pirates theme song...singing Rainbow Connection...our trip to San Antonio...our trip to Colorado...giving group hugs and kisses...telling me when I should be nice...the way you say "hangerbur" instead of "hamburger"...giving me high fives...always wanting to beat me to the potty...saying "good job Daddy!" when helping you with puzzles or anything else for that matter...asking to go to Costco, and Tom Thumb and Kroger...Hiking at the Nature Center...trick or treating in your Darth Vader costume...reading stories to you at bedtime.
One of my favorites lately is when I tell you a story before bedtime. After we have read books and brushed teeth, and found Douglas and the cars you want to sleep with you ask me to tell you a story. Sometimes you give me the characters and situations other times I make it all up. I try and sneak some sort of lesson into each story, and each story is unique and just a little different. Sometimes they are good stories and sometimes not so good but you never mind. All you want to do is spend a few more minutes with me every day.
I love you,
Dad
I can't believe it has been so long since I wrote anything to you! So much has gone on in the last year and a half it has been amazing! You are such a big boy now, you've turned 3, potty trained and counting and coloring and growing so fast it is all just a blur.
Some of my favorite things from the past year and a half...the night you told Mom that you didn't want to wear a pull up any more...watching football with me (and no matter who was playing, they were the Aggies)...learning to say Gig'em Aggies and Go Aggies...our time together while Mom was traveling...helping me make dinner and breakfast and sometimes lunch...going fishing for the first time with Fletch and Uncle Will...catching your first fish with Granpop's fly rod...the Memorial Day parade with Uncle Jonathan and Aunt Camilla...the way you say "Daddy" when your happy, sad, or scared...listening to you play with your cars...singing along to the Jake and the Neverland Pirates theme song...singing Rainbow Connection...our trip to San Antonio...our trip to Colorado...giving group hugs and kisses...telling me when I should be nice...the way you say "hangerbur" instead of "hamburger"...giving me high fives...always wanting to beat me to the potty...saying "good job Daddy!" when helping you with puzzles or anything else for that matter...asking to go to Costco, and Tom Thumb and Kroger...Hiking at the Nature Center...trick or treating in your Darth Vader costume...reading stories to you at bedtime.
One of my favorites lately is when I tell you a story before bedtime. After we have read books and brushed teeth, and found Douglas and the cars you want to sleep with you ask me to tell you a story. Sometimes you give me the characters and situations other times I make it all up. I try and sneak some sort of lesson into each story, and each story is unique and just a little different. Sometimes they are good stories and sometimes not so good but you never mind. All you want to do is spend a few more minutes with me every day.
I love you,
Dad
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
July 12, 2011
Dear Ethan,
So I have found it to be a little difficult to come up with insightful and poignant, letters with great frequency. I am not going to stop trying though, but some letters might be shorter than others. You seem to be growing and changing every day and right before my eyes. My favorite thing you do now, well two of my favorite things are when you want to be picked up you push me or Mom until we are facing you and then you put your arms up. It is especially heart warming when we are facing the counter in the kitchen and you push on us. The other thing that I love is when I am holding you and I want to put you down and I ask "Can I put you down?" you shake your head "no" and hold on tighter. The greatest feeling in the world is knowing that I am loved by you and you want to be near me.
Love,
Dad
So I have found it to be a little difficult to come up with insightful and poignant, letters with great frequency. I am not going to stop trying though, but some letters might be shorter than others. You seem to be growing and changing every day and right before my eyes. My favorite thing you do now, well two of my favorite things are when you want to be picked up you push me or Mom until we are facing you and then you put your arms up. It is especially heart warming when we are facing the counter in the kitchen and you push on us. The other thing that I love is when I am holding you and I want to put you down and I ask "Can I put you down?" you shake your head "no" and hold on tighter. The greatest feeling in the world is knowing that I am loved by you and you want to be near me.
Love,
Dad
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