Traditions

Ethan,
 I have been reading a book on Jewish holidays and traditions and I wanted to write to you about the importance of traditions.  Traditions help to define your life, remind you who you are and where you come from.  A birthday celebration is a tradition where people who love you, celebrate you coming into their lives.  One of my favorite traditions growing up was when we celebrated Thanksgiving.  I was not born in America but your grandmother and grandpa Sol brought the family here from Rhodesia, now called Zimbabwe, when I was four.  I am a first generation immigrant.
      As I look back now I understand the sacrifices that were made so that my family could have the life that we have.  It was difficult, we did not always have new clothes or toys, and your Uncle and I were sometimes made fun of because we spoke differently than other kids.  Eventually your great grandmother and great grandfather came to the States, as well as a myriad of step-brothers, step-sisters, aunts and uncles and cousins.  Many of us would gather, usually at our house, on Thanksgiving Day and give thanks to some special people for helping us come to this great country. A. Barnes, and B.Owen were two of the people responsible for helping grandpa Sol get started in Texas.
     The early years of our Thanksgiving tradition were always special but as we grew older and many of the family moved further away, we began to lose sight of the importance of our Thanksgiving tradition.  The last few Thanksgivings just seem to be reasons for the family to get together and the importance of why our family gives thanks seems to have fallen by the way side.  This year will be different.  For you, I will remind everyone why we are here and the importance of the holiday.  Thanksgiving isn't the only tradition though.  As you grow up there will be more traditions, some old and some that we create just for us.


Dad

Ritual

Ethan,

Every night before I go to sleep I come in and check on you.  You have usually been asleep for a while and you're completely out.  I stand there and think about where we have been and where we are going.  I so look forward to the days when we go camping together and fishing and hopefully soon, flying together.  I also can't wait to play a game of catch with you, that's why my old glove is in your room.  

When I was growing up I played baseball for a season.  I loved it.  I had more fun playing baseball than I did soccer, but it just lasted one season.  Looking back on it now I think a reason I played one season was because the coach said I needed some practice catching and throwing.  Your Uncles weren't interested in helping me and your grandfather was either too busy or just not willing to help.  So for a few days your grandmother and I played catch.  

The coach asked how my practice was going and I was too embarrassed to tell him who my partner was, so I just said "Ok"  Let's face it mothers and sons are not supposed to play catch.  I felt like the pariah of the team, and any other team I joined would be the same.  I learned too late that it's not who people think you are that matters, it's who you know you are.  Keep your glove open and your eye on the ball.

Dad 

The Beginning

I have decided to document your days.  Whether I'll continue to stick with the 21st century and do this on-line, or the old fashioned way with pen and paper has yet to be determined.  It will probably end up being a mix of both, because I will not always have access to a computer but I will always have access to a notebook and a pen.  

I look back on my life and there are so many holes in my memory.  I can't remember many of my birthdays, where I was and what I was doing.  In fact I look at photographs of my childhood and the memories play back in my mind like a movie that I am watching.  There are no emotions attached to the photographs, they are exactly as they appear to be, fragment's of time frozen forever.  I can't attach a meaning to many of them, only stories that I have been told about them.  I want you to be able to look back and remember what your childhood was like, although it will be through my eyes I hope it will keep fresh in your mind where you have been, so you will always know where you are going.  Some letters will be long and some will be short, and I am human, so some days there will be none.  I promise to do my best which is all anyone can ask.

It has been almost a year since you came into our lives and I have changed so much because of you.   When your Mom and I were on the way to the hospital I was driving well over the speed limit, and in between contractions your mom said, through clenched lips, "Drive faster!" So I did.  We weren't at the hospital for long before you arrived and as I write this it brings tears to my eyes.  You were so small and delicate, I was scared to hold you.  When we brought you home I drove well under the speed limit, and I'm sure I swore a lot (which I tend to do often) at drivers who I thought were being too reckless around my son.

 

I was actually scared for a long time to be left alone with you.  We had you sleeping in the pack-n-play for a while and I would actually let Mom sleep while I stayed up for your next feeding, it was too hard for me to go to sleep and then wake up in the middle of the night to feed you.  There were many nights where I would fall asleep on the sofa with you on my chest, but I never really felt like I was asleep because the moment you stirred or made a noise I was wide awake.

 You have been such an amazing child and very little gets you upset.  You have yet to have a meltdown in public but I know that may come sooner rather than later.  When it does I'm sure it will be a spectacular show.

You're growing up so fast.  It feels like there is very little transition between achievements.  July 3rd 2010, you were army crawling, and July 4 you were up on all fours speeding around the house!  Now you are almost walking!  You push around your little buggy, cruise around balancing yourself on the furniture and walk in your walker all over the house,  even on the carpet! 

Some of my favorite things are when I come into your room in the morning and you smile at me.  When you raise your arms up in the air because you want to be picked up.  When I pick you up you pat my shoulder with your hand as if to say, " Thanks Dad!" 

No, thank you Ethan.

I love you,

Dad