Friday, February 23, 2018

School Shootings



Boys,

I have been thinking about the recent senseless act of violence lately, hours of thinking. Where do I stand and what are the solutions? I said solutions, plural, because there is not one single thing that will end this ongoing crisis. I am not a "bleeding heart liberal" nor am I a "bleeding heart conservative". I like to think of myself as someone who has common sense and plenty of it. I try not to let my emotions rule my decisions and like to get as many facts as I can before I make a decision one way or another.
I am going to take a common sense approach to my belief as to what we as a country and a society should do and what the problems may be.
I heard someone say this the other day and it struck me, “The coarseness of American Society is a contributing factor to gun violence in schools”.  What is the “coarseness” that has crept into our mores and norms? Where did it begin? 
The coarseness begins at home.  Parents of children today fail to teach kids respect, kindness and humility.  We have become a society where everyone is each other’s equal, where children and young adults, see adults as their peers and not as their leaders.  We do not need to be our children’s friends, they have those, we need to guide our children to make good choices, right choices and to show them when they have made bad choices.  We need to teach our children that it is ok to fail and make mistakes because that is how you learn and grow.  Our children should not get participation trophies, because often it is not enough just to participate. 
As adults and young adults, no one talks to each other anymore.  There is no personal connection. Email, texting and social media, have done away with the need to get up and go into someone’s office, or to pick up the phone and call someone and use social skills to interact with another human being.  This lack of personal interaction has led to coarseness because you are no longer communicating with a living breathing being, you are communicating with a thing.  A thing, which holds no intrinsic value that if you drop, throw, or otherwise mistreat has no feelings and no expressions.  It cannot be hurt. It may be broken, but you can always go buy another one.
What about banning guns?  That is a solution right? With the highest per capita gun ownership (101) in the world, it is not a realistic expectation to ban all of the guns in the US.  Some groups would have you believe that no guns be banned and you should be able to get any gun freely, but in reality, you cannot get fully automatic guns without an extensive background check, and licensing from the federal government.   I have recently read that we have the God given right to own guns.  The last I knew the Constitution was written by a group of old white men who feared their government, and did not know how the great democratic experiment would work out.  To be clear however, I support the second amendment.  I do believe that I have the right to defend my family.  Do I need an AR-15 to do it? No.  Does anyone need an AR-15 to do it? No.  Do I own an AR-15? Yes.  It is a tremendously fun gun to shoot, lightweight, endlessly customizable, accurate and cheap. Cheap to shoot and cheap to buy.  I have thought about getting rid of it in light of recent events, but I do not want it to fall into the wrong hands by selling it.  I will not just turn it into the police to be destroyed because I paid good money for it, and common sense dictates that would be silly.  However, if the local, state or federal government offered to buy it back for what I paid for it and then destroy it, consider it sold.  The development of the .223 round began in the late 50’s at the direction of the US army for the sole purpose of killing people as efficiently as possible, and if not killing them, creating horrible wounds that would eventually kill people (read this article).  One of the requirement was that the new bullet needed to penetrate US steel helmets at 500 yards.  Nowhere in the specifications does it say the bullet needs to kill a white tail deer at 500 yards.  So trying to say you need it, as a hunting weapon is bullshit there are plenty of other guns out there that will fill that role easily.
Another false solution that I have heard lately is to arm the teachers.  Arming teachers they say is necessary because we protect money and jewelry, and other valuable items with armed guards so why not protect our most precious commodity with armed guards.  Here is why:  Because if we need to resort to protecting our children with armed guards then we have truly failed as a society.  Hurting children is and should be the most taboo of crimes we can perpetrate as humans.  Even criminals look upon child molesters and child abusers as the lowest of the low.  School shootings are children killing children—the shooter has more than likely been desensitized to violence due to video games, or movies, may have mental health problems, or been ostracized by their peers ­ the number one prevention and solution is for the parent to be involved in their children’s lives.   


Sunday, May 1, 2016

September 11

Boys,

There was a world before September 11 2001, and there is a world after, but the two are completely different.  Both of you will grow up in the years after.  Your Mom and I barely knew each other on that day, but we like all the others who witnessed it, have our own stories.
Where we were and what we were doing. Our thoughts and feelings and utter disbelief at what was unfolding around us.  The entire country stood frozen with fear for the next several days and I often wonder if that's how my grandparents and parents generation felt when Pearl Harbor was attacked.
I still have a very difficult time watching the video's of the two planes crashing into the two World Trade center buildings.  Even fourteen years later the emotion is just as raw and painful as it was the day it happened.

The Power of Music

May 1, 2016

I've been listening to music in my headphones for the last hour or so.  Sam, you're watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Ethan you're watching Pokeman.  Music for  me can be so powerful, and I suspect that it's the same for other people. It can lift me up when I am feeling down and keep me low sometimes as well.  It can send me back in an instant to another time and another place.  I just have listened to "Rexroth's Daughter" by Greg Brown, "Pompeii", by Bastille, "The Wrestler" by Bruce Springsteen and "Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" by Paul Simon.  I can only hope that your musical tastes end up being as diverse as mine.  Everything from Classical to hard rock is in my library.  Except hip hop.  I can't stand that shit.  I'll do what I can to expose you both to the power of music.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Just Plain Lazy

Boys,

Ok I'll admit it I'm just plain lazy.  There are hundreds of letters I could have written over the last year and a bit but I just haven't.  I'd tell myself that maybe I just wanted to keep those memories mine and not  share them but that's crap.  I can't type and it sometimes takes a while to do this, but more often than not I'd find something else to do.  I also tend to get very emotional and it can often trigger my depression and take days to recover, but as my friend Rod says, "F it I'm doing it". So much has gone on that I'll just have to hit some highlights:

Sam,
Your growing up into such a sweet loving and entertaining little boy.  There isn't a night that goes by that I don't tell your mom about something cute or funny you did.  You are developing a great personality and I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see who you become.  This morning when I came in and woke you up you cried until I picked you up.  Then you gave me about 10 small kisses while I sat with you in the chair and watched the news. 

E,
You started kindergarten on Monday and your Mom and I were very worried about the transition.  The worry was more for us and how we'd handle it than how you would do but we were scared for you too.  You have handled it like a champ! One of my proudest and happiest moments was when I walked you to school on Wednesday and you crossed the street and took off running towards the school.  I love that you are loving school and learning.  It will get tough at times but I hope you never lose the desire to learn.

Driving in to work this morning I heard "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" by Cold Play and was instantly transported to one of the happiest times of my life.  We were in the first house and the song would come on and we'd all stop what we were doing and get together and dance.  I'd dance with you, and then Mom would dance with you, and Mom and I would dance and then we'd all dance together. The whole house was filled with so much love and laughter.

Love,
Dad

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Life Epiphanies

Boys,

I recently read this article about 9-epiphanies one can have of their lives.  It was pretty powerful stuff. 
One of them, that life unfolds only in moments, is an image that is so clear in my mind it is as if it happened yesterday.
My realization came when I was working at an environmental education center in Navasota, Texas.  It was a very rough time for me and I was having all sorts of difficulties.  I was sitting on a bench, brooding about the upcoming day, and full of worry about something that I no longer remember.  It was a warm humid day, as most days in East Texas are, and was close to fall.  Some of the leaves were changing color and were beginning to fall, yellow was the predominant color but out of the corner of my eye I caught a small flash of red.  I immediately shifted my focus to the red leaf and watched as it drifted toward the ground.  It was backed first by blue sky, then green foliage, and finally the soft brown of the pine needles that carpeted the ground.  As it lay there in stark contrast to it's surroundings I was struck that I was the only person on earth to witness that leaf's descent from the tree.  There would never be another like it anywhere.  No other leaf would fall the same way, have the same brilliant red, be dappled by the sun in the same place and none would ever touch the ground and settle in the same position as this.  It seemed magical, I was there to witness the incredible event of a single leaf fluttering to the ground.  It was then, as I stared at the red leaf, that I realized that life happens only in moments, sometimes so brief that you scarcely recognize them.  It is recognizing these moments and holding on to them that gives meaning to my life.  The day both of you were born are moments where my life unfolded and they are days I will never forget.  This is what it means to live "in the moment", be present, recognize what is going on around you and never take it for granted.


Dad

Thursday, January 9, 2014

New Beginings

Boys,
I have the greatest hopes for you.  I want you both to be more successful than me and to have the lives that you want.  I'll be there to lead you to make the best decisions you can, and to give you advice and help you when your in a rut.  Nothing in life is going to be easy and I'm sure there will be plenty of obstacles and suffering.  But remember suffering is pain that hasn't found it's meaning.


Sam,
All of the previous letters were written for Ethan, but they will apply to you too.  We are so happy and excited to have you in our lives!  When I started this blog I had no idea that you were coming.  I'll try and write special letters just for you and some just for Ethan, but mainly they will be for the both of you.



Ethan,
So your little brother was born back in October and you have done a fantastic job of being a big brother so far.  You were very excited for him to arrive but Mom and I didn't know if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl.  You had your heart set on a little sister, but you seem very happy that it turned out to be a little brother.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Wow

Ethan,

I can't believe it has been so long since I wrote anything to you!  So much has gone on in the last year and a half it has been amazing!  You are such a big boy now, you've turned 3, potty trained and counting and coloring and growing so fast it is all just a blur.
Some of my favorite things from the past year and a half...the night you told Mom that you didn't want to wear a pull up any more...watching football with me (and no matter who was playing, they were the Aggies)...learning to say Gig'em Aggies and Go Aggies...our time together while Mom was traveling...helping me make dinner and breakfast and sometimes lunch...going fishing for the first time with Fletch and Uncle Will...catching your first fish with Granpop's fly rod...the Memorial Day parade with Uncle Jonathan and Aunt Camilla...the way you say "Daddy"  when your happy, sad, or scared...listening to you play with your cars...singing along to the Jake and the Neverland Pirates theme song...singing Rainbow Connection...our trip to San Antonio...our trip to Colorado...giving group hugs and kisses...telling me when I should be nice...the way you say "hangerbur" instead of "hamburger"...giving me high fives...always wanting to beat me to the potty...saying "good job Daddy!" when helping you with puzzles or anything else for that matter...asking to go to Costco, and Tom Thumb and Kroger...Hiking at the Nature Center...trick or treating in your Darth Vader costume...reading stories to you at bedtime.
One of my favorites lately is when I tell you a story before bedtime.  After we have read books and brushed teeth, and found Douglas and the cars you want to sleep with you ask me to tell you a story.  Sometimes you give me the characters and situations other times I make it all up.  I try and sneak some sort of lesson into each story, and each story is unique and just a little different.  Sometimes they are good stories and sometimes not so good but you never mind.  All you want to do is spend a few more minutes with me every day.

I love you,
Dad